I am slowly coming to accept the fact that seemingly simple tasks are never quite as simple as they should be. I’m mainly talking about DIY, and home improvements.

The latest ‘quick job’ that turned out to be anything but quick, was replacing our side gate. We haven’t used it since we moved into the house back in mid-2007, mainly because we didn’t have–or couldn’t find (or, probably more accurately, didn’t look for)–the key. We assumed that since we couldn’t open it, neither could anyone else (without breaking it down), and it was therefore as secure as a side gate could be expected to be.

Well that theory fell through when we noticed that the wet weather had finally penetrated the wood of the door, and it had started to rot and bow, leaving a large gap between the door and the frame. Since it was visible from the street, replacement was necessary.

I went ahead and ordered a new wooden door from B&Q, and all the hinges, locks, handles and screws necessary to fit it from Wickes. Oh, and some paint. I’ve never painted anything external before, so I got some primer, some undercoat, and a gloss topcoat. It is no longer funny to see how many cans of paint we have in our utility room.

On a sidenote, it turned out that the door was actually a hollow internal door, and the top and bottom edges weren’t painted. The door was so soft and damp that I can’t dispose of it yet. It will either dry out in the sun, at which point I can get it to the tip, or the rain will wash most of it away.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the rot had spread to the door frame as well, and wouldn’t have supported the forces of a door being opened and closed. And replacing the door frame is not something I wanted to do, since the two courses of brickwork above the door are not supported by a lintel. They sit directly on the door frame. Nice.

So, back out to Wickes I go, to buy some external plywood to board the door up. A packet of woodscrews and a few coats of paint later, it looks just like a door, but without a handle. Or hinges. Or the functionality.

And we now have a spare half-painted door that we need to store…